Random update from here lately.

A lot but not much going on here these days. I'm still stuck in a plateau on my weight loss. I still have ringing in my ears, hopefully it will get better some day. We've bid new shifts at work, so now I have different days off. My "grandpa" (next door neighbor growing up who kinda adopted me) fell, broke his hip, had surgery, had a heart attack, and is finally supposed to get out of the hospital tomorrow. *Happy dance* My mom, who had a knee replacement earlier this year, now needs a hip replacement, and is scheduled to go in next Monday. (Big thanks to the doc for putting off his vacation for a couple of days!) Mike is doing well in his summer course, which is great since he has to get an 'A' in it so he can start his teaching curriculum in the fall. We're facing a heat wave here in Kansas, worst part of it was last Friday when our AC went out! Thankfully, we only had one horrible night of 90* sleeping. Our landlord is great.

This weekend I took a couple of extra days off, we have Dem Chickins coming down!!! This will be the first time Mikey gets to meet any of my Topeka friends, and these two are awesome. Cat and Kylee were a couple of the best friends I had when I lived in Topeka. We had weekly movie/game/dinner nights, lots of Rock Band, and Cat eating spaghetti with ketchup instead of sauce. (Disgusting, right?) So this week they're coming down for a night, and Marc, Joey, and Marah are all coming over. We have to introduce them to the wonder that is Drubers Donuts. (An awesome overnight donut shop 2 blocks from my house. They have the best peanut butter donuts.) So I have a huge list of cleaning and what not to do before they get here on Friday. Our house is a bit of a mess. And on Sunday we have a birthday party for Mike's grandpa.
In trying to conquer the mess, I've been trying to get the house in order using The Flylady system. So far I've gotten good at making my bed every day and cleaning the kitchen sink...most of the time. I'll post more after I get it figured out a bit more. My hope is to get the house in order, have more time for what I want, and be more organized. I keep finding all sorts of great craft projects and things I want to do, but feel guilty for doing it since the house is such a mess! How terrible is that?
You're supposed to establish a morning and night routine. I've noticed that when I do the routines, I feel more calm. (Mikey says, "She's domesticating you.") But if it ends up with us having a cleaner, more organized, calmer home, I'm for it. I do have to do some tweaking to do on the routines yet, but it will get there. I also need to work on my inventory lists, so my grocery shopping and meal planning is easier.

I have made a few yummy new recipes I've found thanks to my good buddy pinterest. I'll be attempting to put them up in the coming week or so (I have a four day weekend, what will I do with myself?!) There were cookies, cupcakes, brownies, crockpot dinners, and more! We were nice and helped my nephew's football team out with their bake sale. That kid owes me!

Also, I bought the EA Sports Active 2 game for Xbox360 Kinect, and then I took it back. It was not acknowledging most of my movements and made me re-sign in after almost every exercise. Thankfully the guys at GameStop were understanding and let us switch it out for another game. Mike got himself another PS3 game, and I bought Zumba for Xbox. I tried it out that night after we got home from the movies (Brave was super cute) and it worked great. And it hurt, man did it hurt! So now I need to come up with a good schedule for myself to play it often, maybe that will break this plateau!

I apologize to anyone who read this and were yelling at me for jumping around so much, and for how long this is. I swear one day I'll be a bit more fluent. :)

A warm fuzzy and pictures

Since last time, I haven't gotten much done in the way of organizing life. I'm still very annoyed with the lack of organization, but attempting to get there. But I have: filed my taxes, put some stuff up for sale online, done more for our Walk Kansas team, organized some things in the bathroom a little, put up a side by side of myself on LoseIt!, attempted to find good apps on my phone to help me out organizing wise, started my new shift at work, and went to watch The Hunger Games.

One day last week, we went out for a bike ride. Now, the time before that I felt awful afterwards. I felt like I was going to vomit, I couldn't breathe, etc. Terrible. This time, part way through I did feel sick, but still got just over 2 miles in. But before we went out this last time, our neighbor was outside doing some yard work and hollered over to us to "tell you guys something, without you getting embarrassed. I was expecting something along the lines of toilet paper hanging out of my pants or looking like an elephant on a trike. (Though the visual of a cute baby elephant on a trike is kinda adorable. Think about it.) We walked closer to her side of the street so we could hear over Sir Yaps-a-lot, then she told us that we were inspirational and she was proud of us. Mind you, this is a lady we've been cordial to, not a friend by any means. I have no idea what their names are, except the little boy...it's Daniel or Nathaniel, because they yell for him to come home from the park at dinner time. We say hello, she's given us peppers from their garden when they've grown too many, we throw the ball back across the street if it comes over, but nothing more. And here she is, saying that we're an inspiration because of the weight we've lost and that we keep going. Apparently she has been keeping an eye on us since we moved in a year ago. She's seen us shrink (shrinking is really referring to Mike, he's done an amazing job. 75 pounds! I couldn't be prouder of that man) and watched us go for our runs/walks. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

I've found that when people I know recognize the effort we put in, I feel pretty good. But then when we get comments like that from someone who is practically a complete stranger, I feel pretty damn great. Not gonna lie, her saying that to us kept me in a good mood, even after I felt like death 2 miles later. I am still surprised when people tell me that I inspire them. Lol, what? Me? I'm not that great, I'm a procrastinating perfectionist. A wanna-be-focused kid with ADHD. A sarcastic person, that depending on the day and my stress level can snap because of something really stupid. A girl that has always been fat, who is now attempting to shed some of the weight so I can be a better parent than my father ever was on his decent days. (How I worded that makes it sound like he's dead. He's not...which shocks me given his health/weight. But he and I never got along, and that has a lot to do with him treating me more like an unwanted step child than his biological daughter. That's a story for a different day though.) I'm messy, loud, confused, quirky, and random. I don't know why anyone would be inspired by me. But I've started hearing it a lot lately. If not that I'm an inspiration, then I'm the one getting asked for tips. But I'm really not that knowledgeable. I'm left feeling happy yet confused and a little stressed after those encounters.

I'm happy people acknowledge the work I've done. But I haven't done it to be anything more than better for me, my fiance, and my family (current and future). I'm confused, because why in the world would anyone look up to me? (Also, I have very low self esteem. Again, another story for another day.) And a little stressed because I don't want to let these people down. I'm not sure what the answer for these feelings are, and if anyone has pointers, fire away! 

Alrighty, it's 12 hours from the start of my next shift. I really need to get some sleep! I'm hoping that maybe this weekend I can get some work done and maybe get to do some cooking! I've been in a mood to cook, but it's been so crazy I just haven't had the chance. Soon I hope! 

And to end this post with something visual, my pictures! 

 I was probably around 245 or so in August. Now I'm hovering around 190.

That December I was probably around 235-240. Again, now I'm around 190. Down from size 20 pants to 14s and some 12s. The girls have went from 44F to 40DD. My back feels a little better already lol.

Disorganized...

One thing that has been frustrating me a lot lately is just how out of control I feel. That I have no control over things in my life. Mike and I both have work, he has school, the dog needs loved, the house needs cleaned, projects need done, food needs cooked, things need sold, wedding planning needs to start, the list goes on.

And when it comes to planning, this happens: (Warning: this is an actual thought process I go through. My brain does this. All. The. Time. If this next section were a video, a warning about epilepsy would be right here.)

I've always had terrible organization skills. ALWAYS. Though, I know what it is. I can sit down and start to plan a week out, but then, out of nowhere something shiny appears! And then it makes a sound! And it's so beautiful...I must play with it! Which reminds me, the dog needs played with. And fed. Oh! I need to make dinner. But what do I want? Chinese, no Mike is at work, he hates Chinese food on days he works (the woes of a chinese kitchen employee). Pizza! But it takes forever to make. Cookies! But those aren't good for me. We eat healthier food now that we started losing weight. Which reminds me, I need to exercise. But it's raining. I love the rain. So I have to stay inside. I can use the Xbox! I think I want to watch Netflix. And look at things on Pinterest. *click click click click* Organization stuff! I need this!! Hold it...wasn't I doing this earlier? Oh well, let's start it now!

I found this picture on a few different sites, sorry I'm not sure where original credit is from. But this is the best explanation of how my brain feels, especially lately.

Now to less seizure inducing paragraphs. Mike doesn't understand how my brain works like this. I can multitask like no one's business. And sometimes, I can hyper-focus and get all sorts of things done. And Mike, well, his brain does not compute. So lately when I've told him how grumbly I am because I can't seem to get anything done, I don't think he understands. I feel like I need planners, checklists, and then more planners and checklists. So now, I'm trying to find a good planner, or something. There are a few good ones online that are printable. But I feel bad about using all of that paper. I can't find the perfect one to use on my phone though. And I feel like I can't add to it or check it off as well as a paper one. So I'm stuck.

I have this feeling that the disorganization of my life is causing problems in other parts of my life. My stress levels have got to be up, I have been feeling very agitated lately due to no control. I think it may be part of my sleep schedule being off as well. And maybe even why my weight is fluctuating so much. And by that I mean I gain for a couple of days, then lose, then gain, then lose. But all within the same 5 freaking pounds!! (That has really been pissing me off too. I've been stuck here for over a month! GAH!)

So, to save my sanity and help fix other things that may be impacted, I'm on the hunt. The hunt for the perfect one or mixture of perfect organization tools. I need something for work, school, appointments, bills, medications, cleaning, cooking, crafting, exercise/health, hobbies, family, friends, relaxing, etc. Like the title of my blog suggests, my life is a crazy mixed up mess of things. I have many plates on my table, but I don't know which to eat from first. And that would be a great description for this blog. Hooray 3am blogging! I must change this soon! (Again, ADHD brain strikes.)

So if anyone reads this, no matter when you do, how do you organize? Do you have ADHD? How do you cope with it as far as keeping on task goes? Do you have any go to tips? Or programs that you use?

New title, new beginning?

Well, kinda, I hope. I'm going to make another attempt at blogging.  I'm hoping to keep myself on track with creating all the wonderful things I want to make, cooking all the tasty looking recipes I've found, spend time with family and friends, being healthier, work, and plan a wedding. Lately I haven't felt like I have much control on anything. I really need to change that! So here's hoping! And to sleeping, which I really need to do!

Finals done and close to Onederland.

I finished my finals last week, finishing both classes with B's, raising my GPA to 3.19. I'm pretty stinking happy about that, but still bummed that because of finances I can't finish my degree this year. :( I'm 2 classes away, but I hope to be done...well, eventually I guess.
But in other news, I am 5.5 pounds away from Onederland! My fiance is less than 3 away. I'm kinda jealous. Hopefully with school being over, and a change of schedule at work, I'll feel more human and be able to do more. I get to go back down to seconds, which makes me super happy. As much as I like the laid back feel of third shift, I just can't get sleep so I feel mostly dead. My sleep schedule is so messed up currently, I get maybe 6 hours of sleep total each day. But when I'm on second shift that is enough to fuel me for a couple of days. It's weird.

I'm considering adding goals for each month to my plate. Not just losing weight goals, but getting healthier in general ones. Ones that will better my life overall. Going to sleep early really isn't an option, but working out more, or going out to eat less, using the exercise bike more, etc. I'm not sure yet. And in turn, I need to figure out incentives for myself. I'm an achievement whore. I can't help it. So if anyone reads this and has an idea feel free to leave a comment!

First goal: complete.

Friday night we went to my nephew's football game. Before we went over there we weighed ourselves and did a day on couch to 5k. I felt sick part way through, but we got it done. But weighing ourselves showed me that I lost just enough that I had reached my goal! I was just under 215! Now I'm looking at 200 as my next goal. I think its going to be difficult just because before too long I'm going to plateau. But I hope to be in one-derland by my next birthday in January. I hope I can keep it up. It's going to be hard, but I'm going to try. Last night we went out and did another day of couch to 5k. We also did more walking, yesterday we walked/ran over 7 miles! It felt great. Until I sat down, then I didn't want to move. We had spaghetti squash, which is a workout in its self, with chicken and cream of mushroom soup mixed together. It actually turned out pretty amazing! I'll put up a recipe soon.

Almost to my first goal!

In the ever long journey of losing weight and getting healthier, things are slowly proceeding. Mike is a beast when it comes to this and has lost over 17 pounds! I'm super proud of him, slightly jealous, but proud none the less. Today I did a quick weigh in, and much to my surprise, I lost another pound! I'm down 9.9 so far. (which I was excited about, but still annoyed because, really I can't just have the last of that pound?!) I'm just 1.1 pound away from my first mini goal of 215. Hopefully I can take care of that this week before my friend Livvy's wedding. Mike says he can see the difference, I can't yet. I'm hoping that will change soon.

I also hope that I start getting more energy and sleep soon. Being on thirds is still killing me. I am just so tired during the day. And worse at night. From what I've heard we are a step closer to moving me to a different shift, but its going to be a long while. I know I'm stuck until at least the end of the year. Also crazy to think, I've been there for an entire year almost. I've enjoyed it so far, for the most part. And sadly, I need to get started to go there now. Hurray for Friday night! To anyone reading, have a great day!